u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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