he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
