She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
