I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
