With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
