I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize