Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
