Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
