the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
