Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
