That's when you crack a 10am beer
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize