Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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