There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize