and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
