It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
