How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
