no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize