So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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