it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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