Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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