You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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