It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize