She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
