just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
