Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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