don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
