does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
