I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
