Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
