Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
