piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
