I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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