just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
