I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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