I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
