Kiss
Puke
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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