I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
