You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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