Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
