i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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