ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
