sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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