I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
there is glitter all over my balls
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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