that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
