gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
