i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
