So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
