I'm drive I can fine osifer
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
