i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize