is your mom at the bar?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
