I'm so fucking centered right now
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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