My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
