There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
