you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
