well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize