It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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