oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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