the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
