sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
